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Elizabeth Wallace
submitted by Kevin Wallace

It is hard for me to talk about my mother because, I miss her dearly and she had such a large impact on my life.

I would not be the person I am today if it was not for my mother. She encouraged me to dream, to set goals and then go after them. I always had a great deal of support from my mom. I am truly grateful she was in my life for the 23 years that she was.

I learned from my mom what strength was all about. It s hard for me to imagine the challenges my mother experienced and how she was able to cope. In 1979, my father suffered an aneurism while he was up in an apple tree, in our backyard, doing regular spring pruning. He suddenly fell, breaking his neck and four ribs. Unfortunately, he wasn t correctly diagnosed with an aneurism because the doctors thought it was a fluke accident.

My father spent four months in the hospital recovering. During this time my mom spent everyday at the hospital. Soon after, she started noticing that my father was getting very irritable and grumpy. These were two qualities that didn t exist in my father s character. When my Mother had approached the doctors with this concern they justified my Father s moods blaming the long hospital stay, still no further tests were taken.

My father experienced his second aneurism during his stay at the hospital, surviving only two more months, in a coma. After having visited the hospital daily for six months, my mother was devastated. My father s death had a huge impact on all of us. I was 9, my sister, Alison was 14 and my older brother Jim was 18.

The loss seemed to have the greatest impact on Jim. He lost interest in most things, sports, academics, and his social life. Jim had been an amazing athlete who had competed in Mexico, for Canada, at the Junior World Championships in flatwater sprint canoeing. Another tragedy struck.

Almost a year after my Dad died, Jim was in a terrible car accident that he was able to walk away from. I can t remember exactly what happened to his back, but I know it was hurt bad enough that he had to be on strong painkillers. One week after the accident, Jim was at a friend s birthday party. It was there that he went into massive convulsions that required his friends to rush him to the hospital. Unfortunately these convulsions had cut off the oxygen supply to his brain, resulting in permanent brain damage.

This was another huge blow to our family resulting in a greater burden was placed on my mother. In addition to coping with the death of my father she now needed to locate fulltime, lifetime care for my brother.

Four years passed, I was sixteen years old. I remember the day perfectly when my sister showed up at my high school, from her University. She took me out of class and brought me out to lunch to tell me the news. My mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Treatment was swift, and there was hope. My sister and I were devastated, but we had enough resolve and strength from our past experiences, to bond together as a family to be there for our mom. We were strong for her because she taught by her actions to persevere.

For two years life went on as usual, but as a family, when we found out the cancer had spread, along with our shock, we had the resolve that more bad news could not destroy us. Originally, the doctors were confident that the lumpectomy was successful. There is always the chance of stray cells and metastasis, one can only hope for the best. This time, the cancer had spread to her brain and the doctors were giving her one year to live.

The three of us had the support of my mom s sister, Margaret. She helped all of us to deal with my mother s cancer treatments over the next 10 months. Auntie Marg, without children of her own, gave us so much time, love and affection, that I will always be grateful. During that time, my mother still managed to make her regular visits to Jim and to shuffle me around to all my MTHL hockey games and tournaments with a bandana or wig on her head and lots of pride.

I also remember my mom spending countless hours on the phone, late into the night, helping other people who were widowers, supporting families of brain injury, or helping people dealing with cancer. What made my mom a true hero was that she did beat cancer by living five years longer than they allowed. She fought dementia and had to learn how to write legibly again. She lived because of her devotion to her family, faith in God and need to not abandon her three children.

My best years with my mom were when I decided to end my high school career early, and go into business with her. I was seventeen and didn t want to spend time wasted at school when my mom might only have 12 months to live. She supported my decision to open my bicycle store and take on the role of being my accountant. This period of time allowed us to deeply bond, connecting us on an entirely different level. I learned a lot about my father because my mother told me lessons he learned during his life of being a businessman. My mom and I ended up building a lucrative business. I felt successful because I knew she was proud of me.

Five years after her second bought of cancer, the tumors took over once again. I truly believe, that at this time in her life, my mom was at peace. She had run out of strength and finally succumbed to the cancer, but not before my business was strong and I had the support of my new partner, Ira Kargel. My sister had a successful career and home in St. Catharines, and my brother was safely living with private, institutionalized, long-term care. Three weeks later, she passed.

It has been eight years, I miss her dearly, but she still has a major effect on me every day. Whenever good things happen at home or in business, I know she plays a part in shaping my fate. This day of riding is for you, I love you mom.